Helping Children to Participate in Lent

For all Christians, especially Children, Lent can seem heavy and gloomy.  For many of us growing up, Lent meant “giving something up” – candy, perhaps.  However, simply giving up something for Lent, just for the sake of “going without,” can miss the point of Lent entirely.  The point of Lent is not to be miserable; it is to be renewed in our life as Christians.  To concentrate just on “giving something up,” without the context of a spirituality that children can enter into, can leave children dreading Lent more than looking forward to it as a season of grace, and will certainly not help children to understand Lent or Easter.  Rather than imposing seemingly arbitrary and meaningless restrictions, Lent is a time to be deliberate about including children in the spiritual practices that draw Christians closer to Christ.

The first and most important thing that adults can do to help children participate in Lent is to role-model.  We need to make it a point to understand the spirituality of Lent and enter into it ourselves with real devotion and joy.  If Lent makes its way into our home and into our conversations and practices that children can see, they will naturally grow up in a culture that embraces Lent as a season of grace.  Secondly, talk about Lent with your children.  Even hold a “family meeting” to decide what you will all do together as a family to participate in Lent.  Including children in this decision-making process is really important, because it changes the experience of Lent from being about arbitrary restrictions to being about spiritual practices that they can make choices about and participate in.  Remember, the point of Lenten disciplines is NOT to be gloomy and miserable; rather, it is to do a few things differently so that we are more intentionally focused on our relationships with Christ and one another.

Lenten Practices for the Home:

It is not necessary that you do all of these things. Pick the ones that will be meaningful for your family.

• Turn off the TV and Internet one night a week and play family games, or do some other fun activity together as a family.
• Add a new prayer time – something short and simple – to the family’s daily routine.
• Plan to eat at least one simple meal each week, perhaps a soup supper or a rice-and-beans meal.  An emphasis on simplicity is customary during Lent both to reflect Gospel values and to be in solidarity with those who are living in poverty.  Eating simply is also a practice of good stewardship – stewardship of your money and the environment in which our food grows.  Put the money you save in a box, jar, or piggy bank to donate to a charity of the family’s choosing after Lent.
• Cut down on shopping, both in stores and on-line.  Concentrate on buying only essential things, like food that you need.  Before you go shopping for anything else, ask yourself, “Do I really need this, and do I really need it now?”  Again, put the money you save in the donation box/jar to give to a charity after Lent.
• Help children decide on one small thing to give up (to “fast” from, even though it may not be food) to help them focus on the purpose of Lent.  Help them choose something realistic, that they may actually be able to accomplish with success.  It is important that children choose their own thing to “fast” from, rather than have it “imposed” on them.
• Each week let each person draw (as in, from a hat without looking) the name of someone else in the family to do something special and nice for.  That “something nice” can be as simple as giving someone a hug, making something special for them, or helping with a chore.

Lenten Symbols in the Home:

• Practice the ancient custom of “putting away” something for Lent and taking it out again with great joy on Easter Sunday.  You could put away a particularly decorative household item, or your family could make an “Alleluia” banner to put away until Easter Sunday.
• Create a Lenten “Prayer Corner” or area in the home, located somewhere central and obvious.  If there is not a lot of space, the center of the table where you all eat will work really well.  You can use some or all of these things to symbolize Lent: A purple cloth underlay, a Bible, an empty bowl to symbolize fasting, your donation box/jar for money for the poor or a charitable cause, a simple cross.
• Find the symbols of your child’s baptism – her/his christening gown, the candle, the certificate, or pictures of the baptism.  Lent is a time of being renewed in our baptismal life, so tell your children about their baptism if they were too young to remember it.  Go over the Baptismal Covenant in the Book of Common Prayer together and talk about what it means.